Thursday, February 25, 2016



Something has been on my mind lately and I feel like I need to get this out there. 
It's about people who cut themselves. 
If this topic is sensitive to you or you have triggers you might not want to read this post.
If you think people who cut want to die or if you think they simply want attention you probably should read this post. 

I'm tired of cutting being taboo!
Do you know how many people cut themselves? 
Every 2 in 10 teens cuts themselves according to CBS in 2014.

I am one of those people. 
Let me tell you a little something that most people do not know:
People who cut don't do it because they want to die; they are cutting because they want to live! 

Here's how it goes. These people have some type of mental problem such as depression, bi-polar disorder, or PTSD. These people usually are not getting the help that they need to deal with these issues. Sometimes these people get so down and depressed that they can think of nothing but the pain they are feeling on the inside. They are hurt or angry about something. They dwell on the problem and the pain until nothing else exists. 
They are dying on the inside.
These people do not have the proper tools to handle their pain. 
One way to release natural endorphin to fight the pain is to create some type of physical pain. 
If I am so lonely and depressed and am feeling like I can simply take no more, I feel like the pain is killing me and I'm dying.
Then, I cut my wrist. And it gets a little better.
The more you cut, the more endorphins are released and the better you feel. 
It's almost embarrassing for me to say that I once talked about how wonderful it felt to cut while in a group therapy session. I actually rambled on about how as soon as you cut yourself, the pain you were trapped in either loosens it's grip or completely lets go. 

Photo Property of Nicole Kuehn
Example: I was at an in-patient facility and when they said they were going to discharge me I freaked out and was scared. I used the only thing around I could, an ink pen to cut my arm.

Photo Property of Nicole Kuehn
I have been in therapy for a long time. 
The best therapy I've been through so far has been DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
This program has helped to teach me the tools I need to not only understand my emotions, but to know how to control them as well. 
Before DBT I did not know a better way to deal with pain, anger, and loneliness without cutting.
And there are a lot of people out there who cut and have never been to DBT, let alone any therapy! 

This post is to try and humanize the person that cuts themselves.
Don't flash dirty looks or assume they are trying to kill themselves or are an attention whore. 
They are going through something, and they don't know how to deal with it in a healthy manner. 

Photo Property of Nicole Kuehn

If you know someone who cuts, talk to them. 
Ask them about it. Inquire about therapy because trust me, if they are cutting themselves THEY DO NEED THERAPY. 
If you are a parent of someone who cuts or you cut yourself, please seek help. 
It does get better. 

And the best part is that the anger and sadness that once consumed me usually doesn't get anywhere near as bad as it use to. Because now I know how to recognize an emotion, and then how to deal with it in a healthy way.  

Photo Property of Nicole Kuehn

The semi-colon symbolizes where my life could have ended but didn't.

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